Based on feedback to the Linkedin update on Doing and Being goals, I looked into how to put this into practice. This linked in with a gap that has been researched and published for decades by Pfeffer on the “Knowing Doing” Gap. We know what we need to do so why don’t we do it? Each of you has your own reason.
What if we added another layer as I have seen in some circles over the years, of a “Being” such as discussed in "Goals with Soul". Would that help close the gap?
On first glance, it would make it harder as we would need to embody the doing and if we aren’t “doing” already than how can we be?
Therefore we strive through different habit changing exercises to change at one level – the level of doing – to get what we know we want. Yet sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way. Generally because the knowing and the doing aren’t aligned and so building the bridge from knowing into action is fraught with unstable pylons and rickety connections.
What if we turned it on its head in good ol’ De Bono style?
What if we chose how to be FIRST and then worked on doing in alignment with that being and thus will know and have things we want for they are in alignment with our true selves. Easier said than done? Maybe so, it is all about mindfulness and being self aware of how we are being in the moment. Yogis practice this through their intention for each day as mantras.
I believe that we can choose how we can be in 90% of our life. To put this into more practical terms, how can we map this out and give us incentive to choose to be first? This I have adapted from a well known guru called Zig Ziglar…
You need a blank piece of paper, ruler (optional), pen/pencil and some quiet time.
Take the blank sheet of paper and divide it into three columns with your ruler and two vertical lines.
Title the left hand column, BE
Title the middle column, DO
Title the right hand column, KNOW/HAVE
Lets start with the most familiar to most of us and the most tangible under the know/have column.Herein list all the things you want in life as outcomes. Eg. Car, house, executive position, happy family, size 8, finish a marathon etc…Let yourself freewrite for a minute or so.Make sure that the things you write are outcomes ie. End states. For example; lose weight would not be a end state however size 8 or 110 kgs would be an end state. Draw lines (straight or squiggly) under each outcome and take that line across all columns horizontally.
Move into the middle column.
For each outcome, list the things you need to do to achieve that outcome. EG. For 110 kgs, the list could contain the following: join gym, hire trainer, diet, eat healthy, stop eating candy, lose weight etc… Note that this column must contain actions – verbs need to be included to make this work.
Thinking of the two columns now move into the BE column. Take a moment and close your eyes and visualize the outcome in the third column, how would you FEEL when you achieve that outcome? Take those feelings and write them down in the Be column. Eg. Continuing our 110 kgs example, you could write down “confident”, “proud” and you may think of more to add such as “persistent”, “consistent” and “caring”.Write down these words in the Be column. Review across your columns and see if they link going from left (Be) to right (Know/ Have). Do they align? Do they support and build on each other?
Each morning, you can start from the Be column and choose how do you want to live this day. How do you want to “BE”? And the doing will be easier to implement because you aren’t self sabotaging and the outcomes will follow because you are in alignment; you are authentic; and so you will follow through.
Be "Happy" and happy "Being"!